Holy Beef is a comedy which takes the familiar concept of characters from different worlds suddenly having to swap places, and transfers it to a current urban context.
We explore the world of Grime through the eyes of teenagers, which allows us to create a world with extremely high stakes.
Our story hones in on The Block Crew during a major crisis for them, their lead member Slicker has fallen ill with mumps the day of their end of year showcase at college. For our characters, this might as well be the end of the world, but their prayers are answered in the form of Jeffrey, Slicker’s identical, bible wielding twin brother.
On the surface, the comical situation is enough to keep the audience wondering if the devoutly religious, prim and proper Jeffrey can be ‘Grimey’ enough to convincingly pass as his brother and pull off the show. Under the surface, beneath all the fun and jokes is a heartfelt tale of two siblings with conflicting identities struggling for acceptance. We see the broken relationship between the brothers begin to repair itself as they unite to achieve a common goal, as they start to understand each other’s wildly different worlds.
2ND, 3rd, and 4th March 2018 in and around East London (TBC).
- SLICKER* – 18, has mumps and moves as if he’s experiencing pain in his groin. His voice sounds sticky as his throat is swollen. He’s the guy behind the scenes making the crew click together, taming Lady Burden and moulding David Craig into something viable, he takes pride in being the frontman for the crew. He’s embarrassed of his identical twin brother.
- LADY BURDEN – 17, has a very serious persona. She is boisterous and her natural energy is aggressive. She has respect for Slicker, but finds David Craig annoying and soft. Her street mentality means she’d put her life on the line for the crew.
- DAVID CRAIG – 18, has gelled curly hair and looks trendy, his soft demeanour makes him the odd one out in the crew, as his talent is for singing rather than rapping. He’s self-absorbed and is his own biggest fan, coasting his way along with the crew waiting for his big shot at going solo.
- JEFFREY – 18, Slicker’s identical twin brother is the polar opposite, he’s a prim and proper Christian choir boy. He has a singing voice of an angel. He was exposed to the church through his parents but is the only one in his family who’s devoted their life to the lord to this extent. He has an estranged relationship with his brother and knows nothing about the world he inhabits.
- DYNAMITE DUO 1 – 18, one half of the Grime duo. He’s the more assertive one who’s the mastermind behind the group. He has a big ego, which is further fed by his rap partner who looks up to him and is always at his beck and call.
- DYNAMITE DUO 2 – 17, the other crew member. He’s short in stature and has a high pitch voice which he tries to compensate for by being very vocally outspoken, but he’s dim-witted and his partner often has to bail him out after making a fool of himself.
***SLICKER and JEFFREY – will be played by the same actor.
*** Preferably SLICKER/JEFFREY and DAVID CRAIG will be able to sing, and LADY BURDEN will be able to rap.
Could interested actors/comedians send a headshot and any links to performances/reels to email@example.com.
Haus Pictures – www.hauspictures.com
- Candy Floss https://vimeo.com/167172968
- Edmund The Magnificent https://vimeo.com/207638138 (trailer)
Director: Iain Simpson is known for his music videos and online narrative comedy. Amongst Iain’s regular collaborators are D Double E and Lethal Bizzle, and in 2016 he was nominated for a MOBO award for Best Music Video. Iain has a witty and stylistically bold directing style and is part of the prestigious Edinburgh International Film Festival 2017 Talent Lab cohort.
Lethal Bizzle – Fester Skank | D Double E – Roshi | IMDb
Writer/Director: Dwayne Gumbs is a writer and director from East London, who runs performing arts company Diverse Voices. Holy Beef is a proof of concept for a feature Dwayne’s written called ‘Running Out of Grime’, which was part of Film London’s Microwave development slate 2015-2016.
Producer: Benedict Turnbull’s short film Candy Floss, directed by Jed Hart was recently nominated for best short at BFI LFF 2016. His most recent short film Edmund The Magnificent, stars Ian McKellen, David Bradley, Rebecca Front and Mark Bonnar. Edmund is currently on the festival circuit. His short films have screened at over 200 festivals worldwide – IMDb
Producer: Harri Kamalanathan acts as the Head of Production and brings his background in producing live and pre-recorded content to HAUS’ productions – taking low budgets and tripling the production value by bringing together the right crew, diligently organising logistics and the technical side of pulling together our films – IMDb
Producer: Alex Williams is a social entrepreneur with experience as an actor, director, and music manager. Alex has been creating high-quality productions that have a social impact for over 10 years with his organisation Diverse Voices, which provides opportunities for young people within the arts.